I love you as much as you can stand…. More Love Letters


Did they ever think they would be parents and great-grandparents? A photo of Pauline and Milton in 1938

Since I started blogging, the post that has received the most amount of views is my post Hey … vs. The Love Letter.  It has received over 4,000 views and that’s without being freshly pressed — when a blogger’s post is hand-picked by the WordPress editors and prominently displayed on the website’s front portal.

Now, I don’t know if people read all the way through my post, but it goes to show that there are those out there that still believe in love letters and the power of the written word for the sake of romance.  In spite of advances in technology.

In this post, written in January during National Letter Writing Week, I pondered if my generation, the Gen Xers, will indeed be the last that will pen physical, hand-written love notes, or even letters in general. Call me old-fashioned with my fears. I don’t like the notion of how texting is replacing plain talking, or how e-book readers are replacing paper books.  But fearing new technologies is nothing new. Even the invention of the printing press brought on apprehension. In fact, a character in Victor Hugo’s proclaimed medieval novel Notre Dame de Paris states that the invention of the printing press would kill architecture, the way humans communicate. I wish that Victor would have stuck around long enough to see the works of Frank Lloyd Wright or Frank Gehry.

But here’s where I back up my point that sometimes old-fashioned ways, like letter writing, can’t be replaced:

Last summer, at a prolonged stay at my parent’s house, I got, well, bored. So, I started snooping through the closet in my brother’s old room (sorry, bro!). In an accordion filing folder, I found some very old letters. Letters with two separate penmanship: one so flowery it should be regarded as an art form, the other, more masculine and primitive.

Love letters. Between my grandparents. Way before they were great-grandparents or even parents.

I don’t think that two people were more madly and crazy in love than my grandparents. Or fought as much as my grandparents. I mean fights that involved throwing a can of corn across the room or driving away from a family dinner all the way back to Brooklyn fights. But they still flirted with each other all the way into their 80’s.

But even into their 80’s, they still flirted with each other. At family gatherings, my grandfather would take me around, point to my grandmother, and whisper to me “Hey, aint she cute? Ain’t she sweet? She’s all mine.”

My grandparents had two anniversaries. One,was when they eloped in September 1939. They actually ran away in the middle of the night, headed upstate New York, and found a justice of the peace to marry them. An asthmatic one at that. I remember my grandmother recounting the ceremony, mimicking how the justice wheezed between reciting the vows. That was the anniversary my grandfather recognized.

Afterwords, none of my great-grandparents approved to this elopement. And I think the way it went was that my grandparents were not allowed to cohabit until they had a proper Jewish wedding, which happened three months later. That’s the anniversary my grandmother recognized.

So, in these letters, I found one from my grandfather, Milton, that I think contained my grandfather’s plot to take my grandmother, Pauline, away to get hitched.

Dated August 29, 1938 my grandfather writes

I received your second letter this morning after I sent my fourth. I got my days changed to Sunday and Monday off. (Grandpa worked night shifts for the New York Daily News). That goes into effect this Tuesday. Find our all the arrangements for Saturday, September 7, so that we don’t get mixed up. Try and come in early enough to get to the shower (?) about 9:30 but don’t forget to allow some sleep as I’ll be working Saturday morning. Will they be surprised?! Boy, oh Boy!

Some talk about my grandmother being away somewhere…. I don’t understand that part, but then….

I found lipstick on my blue tie that I wore Saturday nite but I won’t make any attempt to clean it……I’ll see you Saturday night and then all day Sunday and Monday and don’t go kick me home early….

and …after a bit of more plotting and even some sqabbling about my grandmother “putting on airs” the last time they met…

“You don’t know what a funny, but a lost feeling I get when I see a couple on the street or a couple kissing or a fellow saying I got a date. Nobody loves me except you. ….I love you alone, Milton.”

Then, I find a letter from my grandmother, not dated. But even back then, and they must have been in their late teens, my grandmother was nudging my grandpa about his health:

“I won’t see you on the nights you can’t manage to get your eight or nine (NINE??) hours of sleep each day. Your also going to watch your diet closely. Believe you me!”

And on the letters and their love went, for 67 years. By the way, My grandfather, a second generation photo engraver for the New York Daily News, was in fact a victim of new technology. In 1982, he was given a buy-out package along with the other photo engravers at the New York Daily News.

His job was being replaced by something called…. the laser printer.

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About stacylynngittleman

I have been a public relations professional and reporter -- and always thought I would live in the New York Metro area - before my husband took a job in Rochester, New York. Most in Metro New York can't find Rochester on a map,and neither could I before we moved. I am now a columnist and a freelance writer for Rochester's only daily newspaper, the Democrat & Chronicle. I also am passionate about gardening, fitness and most of all, Jewish education and Israel Advocacy. Here's my perspective on Western New York living - the good, the bad, and the snowy.

6 responses to “I love you as much as you can stand…. More Love Letters”

  1. Mom says :

    Their love was a special love.Grandma was a wonderful teller of jokes. Grandpa would listen and laugh at them as if it was the first time he had heard it. They taught me a wonderful example of what it is to love(and argue),but never loose sight what is important in a marriage.Thank-you for starting my day with such a warm memory.

  2. gerry says :

    Hi, Stacey – Your mom’s posting on the wall page said something about someone throwing a can of corn across the room. Now, that’s tough love. Any idea whether is was my aunt or uncle who threw the can. I have my money on Pauline.

    As for Milton — like too many in journalism today, and too many newspapers, in fact, technology made him obsolete. But were they using laser printer in 1982, or was it some other technology? If there are any grizzled veterans left on your paper, ask them.

    • transplantednorth says :

      Hi Gerry,
      You won! Yes, it was my grandmother who threw the corn. Now I know where I get my temper from, though I have yet to throw a can of food at my beloved. And, the first time I ever heard of a laser printer was from my grandfather, I was acutally worried that he would get cut in two in the office by this new laser printer thing. Thanks for reading and your comments!

  3. Rivki @ Life in the Married Lane... says :

    This is such a lovely post. Thank you for sharing! There’s definitely something so much more, well, human about writing letter than, say, texting. I think we’re going to be forever living with nostalgia for the past while keeping up with the future.

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  1. Hey…… vs. the Love Letter | Transplantednorth's Blog - June 1, 2011

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