Tag Archive | Parenting

My kids’ schools have no nurse, does yours?

nurse

Portrait of Miss Georgina Pope, head nurse of ...

Who wants to pay less taxes?

Who wants the government and regulation off our backs?

Government and school payrolls are much too big, let’s stop using our taxes to pay big government salaries!

Careful what you ask for.

Do you remember the good old days when there were school nurses? In the sixth grade, my throat burned and my head ached. I was sent to the school nurse where she took my temperature, gave me some water and a throat lozenge that tasted like cherry. The cold nurses cot lined with that crinkly white medical paper was somehow a comforting place to rest as I waited for my mom to come pick me up.

In the ninth grade I passed out in hygiene class and had to be wheeled through the hallway – of course during the change of classes – to the nurse’s office.  There the nurse checked my vitals, my blood pressure and my temperature, etc. and sent me on my way back to classes after she determined my cause of fainting was due to me being grossed out by the day’s lesson.

As a mother, my children made several trips to the nurse’s office in the years they were students in New York State:

  • There were routine eye and hearing exams
  • Lice checks when there was the monthly…. emmm, occasional outbreak in one of their classes
  • When my daughter’s 2nd grade head collided with another 2nd grade head, it was the nurse’s office who called me saying I would need to take my daughter to an ENT specialist to rule out a broken nose
  • My oldest son broke several body parts at school. It was a nurse who was trained to triage him and fix him up enough to make him comfortable until i could get him to the doctor’s office.
  • My youngest son had an asthma plan in his old school in New York where he went to the nurse’s office each day before recess or gym to take his inhaler.
  • The nurse in my youngest son’s school also extracted a tick from my son’s neck, contained it in a plastic jar for me to take to my doctor to test it for Lyme’s disease. She was my hero! 

The beginning of the school year I called up to speak to the school nurse at my son’s middle school about my son’s inhaler.

6th Grader Laporshia Massey Dies From Asthma Complications 

This is a school where we got a note home the first day of school saying that NO child could bring in any products containing nuts because several children in the school contained a life-threatening THAT’S LIFE THREATENING peanut allergy.

Philadelphia Child Dies, No School Nurse Available

“We don’t have a nurse,” the secretary said in matter-of-fact tone.

“Excuse me?” I stammered in disbelief.

She calmly said that the school has a clinic where moms volunteer their time. Or, she, the secretary, plays the role of the nurse, distributing medication and other nursing functions.  I’m sure she has time to care for our children, especially during cold and flu season, plus get all her other work done.

Really. So very comforting that is, never knew a school administrator knew how to take a kids vitals or how to treat a wound, a bone break or properly give out meds in addition to paperwork and calendar scheduling.

I shared my dismay with another school administrator, this time at my daughter’s high school.

“Oh yeah, our district hasn’t had nurses in a very long time. It’s an enormous liability.”

Yeah, do you think?

In New York, our property taxes were pretty high. In Michigan, our taxes are quite low. Our suburban streets are quite pock-marked with potholes and our schools have no nurses. And that’s the way people like it here, I guess.

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Weekly Photo Challenge: Mine

First night in HIS big boy bed with all HIS animals. This photo just says "mine."

First night in HIS big boy bed with all HIS animals. This photo just says “mine.”

The word mine. After mama and dada, it is probably one the first word a child learns.

Especially if he has other siblings.

This is a photo of my son way before he grew to the almost  14-year-old guitar-playin’, fedora wearin’ teen boy he is now.

Back then, a little over two years old, he was the boy who did not want to give up his crib. And would only do so unless it was absolutely guaranteed that he could sleep in his new big boy bed with ALL his friends.

So there he is, and there he was.

Mine is a very important word to a toddler. But if you ever parented a toddler, you already knew that.

Bring Back Shame and Judgement: It’s a good thing.

Have you seen it?

The video of foul mouthed-middle schoolers speaking foul things not to each other, but to an elderly bus monitor?

Cursing at her? Calling her fat? Touching *touching* her stomach and calling her fat — while she sat helpless, perhaps terrified? This painful video was ten minutes long. This went on for ten minutes.

All the anti-bullying talk. All the anti-bullying this and that. And NO ONE stood up and stopped the bullies!!

And how could the bus driver allow this to go on?

I interviewed a teacher here who is a historian, the keeper and cuurator of a one-roomed school house in Penfield.

Back in those days, kids who were bad, got the switch. At the very least, they were sent to the corner with a dunce cap. There really wasn’t much wiggle room or putting up with bullshit from students.

I’m really fed up with the assinine actions of some of the “minors” in my town:

A year ago, a kid named Luke Buckett and a few of his friends burned a swastika in my town, and they got off because “they didn’t know what it was and didn’t know it was hurtful to people. They were 17.

In Rochester, about four high schools have been severely vandalized by seniors as a “prank.”

Enough!

Now, we can no longer harshly punish kids. We can’t shame them publicly or make them feel badly about their actions. It might damage their psyche.

It’s hard-working teachers who get disciplined for trying to dicipline kids. But what do you do when kids act so abhorrently, knowing they would be filmed, like this:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=bJ9n8JQJy2c

So, what should be the proper punishment for these kids? Here are some of my recommendations:

Riding the bus is a privelege. Make these kids walk to school from now on. And it gets cold in Rochester.

Give this poor woman and all expenses paid vacation to wherever she wants. And make the parents of these entitled brats pay for it.

I just can’t hold back on this one. Call me judgemental and harsh. Go ahead.

Talkin’ ‘Bout the Birds and The Bees at the Bus Stop

These are the last days of school. I’m trying to make the most of them with my youngest by having our morning one-on-one time while waiting for his bus. We did just that today, just  talking and waiting as the rain fell.

All I was trying to do was play a little math problem solving game with him, and lo and behold, it turned into the beginnings of THE talk.

I was not going to write about this funny conversation with my youngest child, my eight-year-old boy who is a bit worldly thanks to big brother and sister.

However, Blogher and Venus Embrace are putting bloggers up to the challenge of writing about tips of how to have a talk about sexuality with your kids for a $50 Visa Card giveaway, I would take them up on their opportunity.

So, there we were waiting  for the bus when my son asks how old his grandparents, my parents, were when they got married, and how old they were when I was born.

Perfect. Time for a little math while waiting for the bus.

Me: Grandpa was born in 1940 and he got married in 1965.

Son: So… he was 25.

Me: Right. Okay, Grandma was born in 1943-

Son: So Grandma was 22.

Me: That’s right. And I was born in 1968.

Son: Didn’t grandma and grandpa want to have kids right away?

Me: Ummm….maybe, but it takes some time to have  a baby.

Son: Why? I mean, why didn’t they, right after the wedding, drive up to a hospital and say “We want a baby, please?”

Me: It doesn’t work like that….

Now, I have to say, I had these conversations a little earlier with my oldest two, who watched my belly grow when I was pregnant with my middle and youngest children.

My youngest, however, never had the opportunity to be around a pregnant woman on a daily basis, so these questions had yet to come up.

The conversation continued:

Son: So just HOW does it work? Does a mommy one day look down at her belly and say, “C’mon, belly, give me all you’ve got!” and then the belly grows and then POP! A baby comes out?

Me: No, um. It takes longer than that. It takes nine months for a baby to be born. You see, a mom and a dad have to lay very close…..

Son: Oh, they have S-E-X??

Me: Yes. (Just what does he know? I wondered. But I didn’t prod.)

I continued.

Me: You see, a woman has an egg inside of her and a man has a seed, and if the seed goes into the egg, in nine months a baby is born.

Son: AN EGG? Like a Chicken?

Me: No, not like a chicken.

Son: Was I Born this way?

Me: Everyone was born this way. And every thing.

Son: Were trees born this way?

Me: No, but most mammals are born this same way. 

….. and so on.

After having three kids, my best advice about THE talk is:

  • Be calm. Be matter-of-fact. Don’t brush off any questions.
  • You don’t have to have THE talk all at once, but take it up gradually
  • Only give them just the right amount of information they need and don’t expand. I didn’t get into the complications of birth control, sex before marriage, having babies between same-sex couples, in-vitro-fertilization. WHY? An eight year old just needs the basic facts.
  • When they stop asking, it means they’ve had enough information for now.

One thing’s for sure: I will take out a few books for him on the topic at the library. One good source I found was a blog post by Story Pockets, a blog written by the Children’s Department of the Carnegie Library of Pittsburgh, Pa.

Good luck!

My Mother’s Day Presents

jolieart 010

Every day, my kids leave me things. Things that are not exactly presents, but that are always present in my presence that I need to take care of while they are in school and expanding their minds.

My dear children,

Must you leave your socks on your bedroom floor?

Can’t you throw away your rinsing cup after you brush your teeth and not leave it for me to throw away?

Kids, I really appreciate that you make your own lunch, but must you leave me your crumbs on the cutting board, the opened peanut butter and jelly jars lingering on the counter?

Must you leave me at my wit’s end and make me say things that I SWORE I would never say when became a mother???!

At approximately 7:30 this morning, I had received no less than three text and voice mail messages both on my cell phone and land line from my daughter whilst I was in the shower and getting my youngest ready for school.

“Mom, I left my lunch home and I have no money and I have track practice and I’m going to be hungry so can you pleeeeaaase bring my lunch to school?”

One more present left behind for me, the mom.

Okay, I bring the lunch to my high schooler, because that’s what moms are for.

But then, for all the world to see in the high school’s main display case..  what’s this?

My daughter, my sloppy, beautiful brilliant, talented daughter, is featured artist of the week in her high school:  I shot the following on my iTouch through the display glass so forgive me for the amateurish glare:

Today, the hallways of high school, tomorrow… SoHo?

Thank you, daughter, for being my present. I can almost excuse the dirty socks, and the pencil shavings, on your bedroom floor.

Love,

Mom

I’m routing for this Science Mom: Vote for her today!

Every now and again, I get a story idea in my inbox that just cannot wait a week until it is published in my column. In our age of overtesting our children to the point of desparation where they even cheat on college entrance examinations, here is a story of Melissa Gertner.

Melissa is a mom who was inspired by her son’s curiosity to solve problems by tinkering with old machine parts in his basement to start an after school club called FIRST LEGO® League  that lights the spark of science and technology in tween and teen-aged kids in Victor, NY.

She is competing for a scholarship to win $10,000 for the  Victor school district to continue and grow the LEGO program for years to come in Victor.

Here is her story. Vote for her at this link

A Mom and a STEM Advocate

A Mom and a STEM Advocate

I never liked science. Or math. Technology scares me. So, you must wonder, how could I have helped connect others to science, technology, engineering and math? I am not a teacher. Or an engineer. I can barely balance my checkbook. Still you wonder…

The answer is simple. I am a mom and an advocate. My son is endlessly curious and creative. He is always inventing things in the basement, taking machines apart to see how they work, reading about the way our world works, drawing his plans, bringing them to life, making a mess, starting all over again. Every day. All day. And he inspires me. To provide opportunities for him and others like him to find their very special and immensely valuable place our world.

So, two and a half years ago, with the guidance of the Victor Intermediate School, another devoted mom and I started the Victor Intermediate School FIRST LEGO League (VIS FLL) Club, a 3 year after-school pilot program designed to capture students’ interest in science, technology and engineering. The program offers hands-on real–world learning experiences that reach beyond the traditional classroom.

In our first year, we served 26 4th graders in a non-competitive format. In 2010, we took six teams of 43 4th and 5th graders to qualifiers. Three of those teams advanced to the Regional Championship. This year we will serve 80 students, including six teams of 5th and 6th graders attending the qualifiers in November and six teams of 4th and 5th graders participating in a non-competitive season starting in January 2012.

How did I find my way to this program you ask. Well, three years ago, I had the privilege of coaching my son’s Jr. FIRST LEGO® League team. Little did I know, I had embarked upon the journey of a lifetime. Somewhere along the way, perhaps when I saw the pride in the faces of my son and his teammates at their show and share event or the incredible ideas they generated or the solutions these 8 year olds developed, I was hooked and committed to providing a continuum of science and engineering opportunities to as many students as I could possibly embrace.

Since that time, I have coached his FLL team for two more consecutive years, been a co-coordinator for the club in the off-season and am currently the coordinator of the VIS FLL Club. I have also actively helped other teams get started in our region by sharing information, resources and encouragement.

I continue to be inspired by the imagination, ideas, teamwork and passion these kids generate. Not only do our students participate in community events and competitions, they also mentor local students and others throughout our region, and spread the word about how exciting science and engineering can be. As much as I am helping to connect all these kids with science, technology and engineering experiences, they are the true connectors, connecting me with the best of myself and the best of themselves with our world.

Post-a-Day Challenge: a story in six words

Post a day came up with a challenge to come up with a story in six words. I don’t think I’ve used so few words since I wrote a haiku in grammar school. Here goes:

Camp’s Over

Kitchen’s humming

Laundryroom ready

The Last Seconds of the Second Grade

june201 001

Council Rock Primary School in Brighton is shaped like a hug. It has one main hallway flanked on each side by two other hallways that stretch out like two arms. These arms hold about 800 happy kids from Kindergarten through second grade. These arms are adorned with the colors and words that these children write, draw and sculpt. You’ve never seen happier hallways.

This school has hugged my kids – and well, me –  for eight years. Now it’s over.  Cradling a folder full of Crayola art and essays about butterflies and tadpoles, I walked out of this little school for the last time today.

My youngest, the second grade graduate, was born on the first day of school in 2003. My husband left the hospital for home a few hours after he was born, showered, and then woke up our two big kids for the school bus.

The first time Toby went Council Rock Primary School, he was under 20 days old. We carried him in the infant car seat for my daughter’s first grade curriculum night. As the school year progressed, Toby visited the school with me about twice a week while big brother got occupational and physical therapy. Sometimes he would be in his car seat, other times I would hold him in the rocking chairs that are in the lobby. The school aides would ask me how old my baby was and I would proudly proclaim, “He is as old as the school year!”

And in a flash, he is nearly eight years old. He will still kiss me and let me hug him in front of his friends, but not really.  My baby is growing up.

How dare he!

He already has the wisdom to know that time flies when you are having fun. He already senses how fast a school year can go.

Tomorrow, I’ll go through all the worksheets about math. I’ll look over how many ways my youngest got to 100 and the worksheets on how to write his ABCS. Then these will go in the recycling bin.

But what I’ll treasure most is his journal on his day-to-day life. His poetry on what it would be like to be an inanimate object such as a tape dispenser. And his self-portrait. And if I only look at them on rainy days when I am looking to clean out my closets, to make room for the stuff from school years to come, it will be just enough.

Third grade, (and, for my daughter, High School) here we come!

Stuck at the Airport with Kids? Here’s what to do!

As I write this, the curse of the Philadelphia International Airport has struck my family once again.  I last saw my husband through half-asleep eyes as he kissed me goodbye at 4 a.m. last Sunday. A conference out in California was taking him away during our February “vacation.” My vacation home with the three children. He is now stuck in Philadelphia.  I’ve shoveled nine inches of snow off our driveway. I really don’t know when he will be home.

I am sure that the curse of delayed or canceled flights due to the weather is not reserved just for those in the Philadelphia airport. No, with this winter, and this winter vacation coming to a close at the same time another snowstorm rattles our air traffic patterns, our story is not unique.

So this blog post is dedicated to all of you out there who have been stuck at an airport with children.

I really think that going away to get a few days of sunshine over February break is just not worth it in our age of “Welcome to the Hellish Skies.”  Indeed, we did a few years ago make an attempt at a Florida getaway.  But due to storms, we instead had a 13-hour destination vacation to the Philadelphia International Airport!

My son, an avid New York Mets fan, was dressed head to toe in Orange and Blue Mets paraphernalia. He cowered the whole time in his jacket, hood pulled up all the way. He actually believed that because he loved the Mets and hated the Phillies, someone in the airport of the City of Brotherly Love was going to kill him.  

Our efforts to escape the cold of Rochester for just one week had failed. We missed our connecting flight from Philadelphia to West Palm Beach.  Every flight to southern Florida was booked and overbooked for the next three days.

As we looked at the flight board, we slowly came to the harsh realization that the palm trees of our vacation dreams had been yanked out by the roots. We could stay in the airport as standby refugees, or head back to cold icy Rochester. We were not going anywhere.

But then I had an epiphany. I realized, Hey! We are still on vacation!  Vacation can be a state of mind, even if you did not make it to the Sunshine State.

So here are my hard-earned tips of what to do you if you are on a 13-hour standby hoping in vain to get your flight to paradise:

  • Immediately go to the “customer service” line and demand you get a pillow. Take two or three and don’t feel guilty. The airline has ruined your original vacation destination and they owe it to you to make you as comfortable as possible.
  • Forget the food court. You are on vacation and deserve the best of airport dining. In our case, it was Applebees. Any frugalities of ordering from a restaurant menu with children- like sharing – should be lifted. We were on vacation. Kids, if you want a beverage other than water, go for it! That naturally blue-colored smoothie? Go for it!
  • As far as the adults in your party, order an alcoholic beverage. You are going to need it.
  • After your meal, order dessert. Those desserts that stare at you all throughout your meal from those triangular placards placed strategically on the table. Remember, this may be your only vacation meal!
  • After your meal, don’t bother checking on your flight status. You know you are not boarding any time soon, if you board at all.
  • Find out if the airport you are stranded in has a Sharper Image or a Brookstones. Loiter there for an hour or so. Spend most of this time on one of their massage chairs. Ignore looks from salesperson.
  • Is the hot stuffy airport getting to your children? Do what my kids did and let them pretend that the bathroom is their own personal water park. Cool off by dunking your child’s head in the sink. Just like dunking into the pool at grandma and grandpa’s condo. How refreshing!
  • Around 10:00 p.m., entire sections of the airport should be clear enough to let your kids run completely wild. Make sure you pack a jumprope and maybe some in-line skates in addition to some healthy and sugary snacks.
  • At 11 p.m or later, if you are still waiting on standby in a nearly empty airport, abandon the rule about indoor voices. And the no running rule.  And the no climbing and jumping on furniture rule.  Moms, that glass of wine at Applebees must have worn off by now. Use the extra space to do a little yoga stretching to relieve the stress.

Airport authorities, if you cannot tolerate the wildness of unruly children, who have spent over 10 hours cooped up in your airport, you should have done more to get good, hardworking parents to their original vacation destinations. Airlines, you should have done the decent thing and not have overbooked your flights. So go ahead kids and parents, make all the outdoor voices, and screams, and wild laughter you can conjure up.  This is family time!

YOU ARE ON VACATION, REMEMBER?

Snow Blower vs. Snow Shovel

So here we go again. Another week, another snow storm. 

And this time, Rochester isn’t going to get off Scott-free like we have so far this winter. As we await the next deluge of snow, I know you are all sick of it. But up here in Rochester, we’ve only had 77 inches fall this winter. Only. But only in terms of “lake effect” showers and flurries. Never a mention of a storm. Just enough snow to fall each day to cover the ugly grey snow. And not enough to justify a snow day.

But our day may be coming this week. Finally!

This is a piece I wrote a few years back that I figure would be very timely right about now. I know it’s tough, but do try to enjoy and appreciate the quiet and beauty of the snow. Because in a few months, we’ll be wishing for some cool weather.

We actually do have a snow blower. A Toro Powerlite snow blower that our relatives gave to us as a housewarming gift when my husband and I moved to Rochester from New Jersey with our two small children nearly a decade ago.  It is nestled on the left side of our Tudor’s tiny one-car garage – a garage that was built to fit 1920’s model cars, not today’s SUVs or minivans.  Over the years, it has certainly served us well.  My husband uses the snow blower on mornings when he has to get out early On early winter mornings I often wake to the sound of him repeatedly pulling on its cord to get it whirring to a shuddering start, the smell of the gasoline seeping upward from the garage directly overhead to our bedroom.

But I left the snow blower in the garage today and opted for my ergonomic snow shovel.  If I used the snow blower, I wouldn’t have delighted in the soundlessness that a snowstorm creates, the snow’s ability to absorb noise in our motorized world.  I wouldn’t have had the chance to watch the snow change from white to the slightest tinge of blue when it is pushed aside by the shovel’s blade. Or hear the chickadees chirping in the backyard and think about how I may at some point want to train them to feed out of my hand.  

The snowy weather does get a bit old here in Rochester, here at January’s end when at least two more months of snow await us and with the knowledge that we could not afford plane tickets to Florida for this year’s February break. 

You can’t stir a sleepy child out of bed at January’s end with the exclamation of

“Look! It snowed last night”. 

Maybe you can get away with that in November, or even mid-December, when snow is still a novelty. But when one’s alarm has been buzzing before dawn since November, and grass and brick and garden beds have not been seen for over a month, the child looks at you as if to say “big freaking deal, MOM” and rolls over in a vain attempt for one more minute of sleep.

We are not bears. And we cannot sleep all winter.  So out we go into it.  Whether it is to school, work, food shopping, we must. 

And you know something? If you are wearing enough layers, and there is no bitter wind to bite your face, shoveling snow by hand, and then taking a walk in it can be very invigorating, just about as invigorating as the Zumba class that I decided to blow off today.  As I walk, I turn my feet outwards, and then in, just like that boy in Ezra Jack Keat’s beloved children’s book. (Need I tell you the name?) I think about diverting my children from the television and getting them into the snow to play as they get off the schoolbus. I feel the gentleness of the flakes hit against my hat.  And when the one other person out walking today in my neighborhood passes me, we smile at each other knowingly, as if we are privy to a very well kept secret.  

As I turn home, an enormous truck with an eight-foot high snowplow turns the corner and packs the snow bank blocking our driveway even higher. Okay, there is no romanticizing anymore, and I head to my garage to start up the noisy, smelly snow blower.

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